


Take It All

by Rasy Tojas (ambaila)



Category: Suits (US TV)
Genre: F/M, Song Inspired
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-26
Updated: 2020-10-26
Packaged: 2021-03-09 05:21:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,353
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27208801
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ambaila/pseuds/Rasy%20Tojas
Summary: Years later, Donna Paulsen had to admit she did enjoy hearing Harvey beg.
Relationships: Donna Paulsen/Harvey Specter
Comments: 1
Kudos: 9





	Take It All

**Author's Note:**

  * For [hellcsweetie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/hellcsweetie/gifts).



The event was hosted by Louis Litt, but anyone who was anyone knew that it was really Donna Paulsen who was running the show. The event was to be black and white; attire must be either or both colors. Attendance, if one received an invitation, was mandatory. It was also heavily suggested that being on time was incredibly important.

Donna was dressed in black silk that brushed the floor with every step she took, despite her heels. Her red hair had been twisted up in a delicate bun with tendrils curled around her face. It was purposeful. As was the red lipstick that stained her lips. She dressed for purpose.

As she made her way to the top of the stairs and took stock of the guests, she took a deep breath. It was different now as her gaze fell on the man she used to work for. He was wearing a white jacket that was buttoned up around his neck. It was clean pressed and not a normal one of his jackets, which made Donna tilt her head. Approaching him, as Donna descended the staircase, was Mike.

Rachel was right behind him, their lands linked.

Donna smiled and greeted those who greeted her. She stopped for small conversations, thanking people for attending. She did it on behalf of Louis, when she was sure she would have done it on behalf of the firm if she still worked for Harvey.

_ Harvey _ .

He had fallen out of view. She wasn’t sure if she was consciously trying to keep him in her view or if he was doing what he could to have her stay in his. They didn’t talk anymore. They hardly ever saw each other and at events like these, with 300 people, it was easy to maintain. But she was finding herself constantly looking for him.

“Donna,” she heard from behind her.

The low voice of the man she was –

“Harvey.”

She turned her head to look at the man who she had to leave. The man who drove her absolutely insanely deliriously happy and mad at the same time. His coat had gold buttons all the way to the top. His trousers were white, too. He looked good.

“This isn’t a costume party,” Donna nodded. “Sailor.”

“Tell that to Louis,” Harvey muttered. “He’s the one who gave it to me.”

“You didn’t have to wear it.”

“Please,” Harvey scoffed. “Like I had a choice.”

She took that moment then to leave. His choices were his and his alone. He didn’t do anything he didn’t think was right. They established that when she was fired by Jessica and he didn’t have the audacity to do it himself. Yes, she would have liked to see him drop to his knees and grovel for her forgiveness. For him to beg her to come back.

Donna was not Scottie. It would have been so easy to fall into Harvey’s bed over and over and over again. There were moments when she knew that would have been so easy to do. They shared the same itch to be satisfied. Donna wouldn’t have been able to leave. That was the difference.

She refused to let herself be a conquest. Her rule was set in stone. She couldn’t let herself be so wrapped up in a person that the only thing left on the floor was her heart. She had to have something she could fall back on. Donna had worked too hard to let herself fall back on the exploits of a man.

“Donna,” a voice called.

Mike.

She smiled softly at him and at Rachel. The pair were matching, with their fingers weaved in with each other’s. 

“This seems to be going well.” Rachel commented.

“Have you seen Louis?” Donna asked the other woman.

“I last saw him talking to Harvey.”

Donna slid her gaze to Mike, who had his other hand shoved in his pocket. Another Harvey mannerism the kid picked up. Donna did what she could not to pinch the bridge of her nose and walk away. Instead, she rolled her eyes.

“I’ll go rescue him.”

As Donna circled the room, looking for Louis, her mind drifted. Drifted to when she fell on the sword for Harvey at the DA’s office. Drifted to when she pushed asides ethics and morality for Harvey and Mike. Drifted to when she was left alone in the bathroom because Harvey was angry at her for shredding the file. Drifted to the haunted look in his eyes when it was all but certain she was going to jail.

She thought to the ten hours he spent in her bed. When he drew insane objects on her back and made her guess. Or the thirty minutes spent in her shower not showering. It was the phone call, him asking her out to the diner and she held her breath when he told her he couldn’t let her go. It was the decade of her outside of his office every damn day, doing whatever he needed, that made her spiral.

He wasn’t blind. That much she knew. He was also not stupid. She had tested it. Yet, the man who caught her gaze across the room, with that Cheshire cat smile, was a damn good liar.

Did she think he was lying when he told her he loved her? No. Did she think he was lying when he’d move mountains to save her? No. Donna knew Harvey and she knew how he felt. But for once, she just wanted to hear it from him. For once she wanted to know what  _ he _ wanted instead of having her lay it out for him.

Donna knew Harvey’s secrets. The same way he knew hers. Yes, his mother’s affair haunted him, and she understood why he was so upset when he thought she lost faith in him. If only he’d understand that it was the  _ last _ thing she could possibly do. If only he’d listen to her when she told him she loved him and took it as that.

“Donna!” Louis called.

Her shoulders dropped and she gave the man a smile. Louis, who was so upset with her over Mike. Louis who was so hot and cold when it came to understand threading the needle so close to the heart. He was a passionate and dedicated to his life’s work. To his friends and family. She was grateful he was a breath of fresh air.

“Everyone seems to be having a good time,” Louis nodded. “I think we raised five thousand dollars.”

“That’s great, Louis,” Donna forced a smile.

“You okay?”

“Yeah,” Donna nodded, her gaze catching Harvey’s over the head of a blonde.

He winked at her and she shook her head. A blush curling up the back of her neck and stopping at the base of her jaw.

“He might get a new client out of this,” Louis nodded in Harvey’s attention. “She’s some publisher or something.”

“Or something,” Donna muttered. “Fashion.”

“How do you – “

“I invited all these people, Louis,” Donna said. “I know who she is.”

Donna pressed her fingers into the surface of the bar. She let her dark nails be offset by the red of pressure of pushing her fingers into the surface. She relented when it became too much and watched as the blood flowed and equalized.

Dark liquid was put in front of her and she tossed it back in a single gulp. Another came and another went down. She ignored the burn. She ignored the tear in the corner of her eye. She ignored the heat of a man at her back.

Her life would be so easy if she could just ignore him. To pretend he didn’t exist. Even down the hall, on the opposite side of the world basically, she can’t escape him. To be honest with herself, she didn’t know if she ever could. No matter how hard she tried.

Then the heat against her back turned into coldness and the source migrated to her side. The soft material of his jacket brushed against her bare arm. Her finger itched to touch his and she swallowed it down. She turned her head to the man who had turned her life upside down and left it there. Donna realized he was starting to join her, it was slow, but it was happening.

“Louis got us hotel rooms.”

“I got us hotel rooms,” Donna corrected.

“Are you planning on staying?”

“Depends on how late this goes,” Donna said, honestly.

In truth, she didn’t last much longer. With the start time of the event late as it was, and the knowledge she would eventually have to make an appearance at the office tomorrow, she left the room the same way she came. Up the stairs, and down the hallway.

Harvey had left Donna at the bar, clearing his throat and going to find Mike. The young lawyer and Rachel were at a table, talking to a donor. Mike slipped out of his embrace and the two men stood in a corner whispering like conspirators who were about to rob the place.

“You fucked up,” Mike said. “You should have just stayed home.”

“I didn’t fuck up,” Harvey chastised. “I came and now I’m going home.

“Alone?”

“How else?”

The blonde shrugged his shoulder and nodded to the crowd of people. In the middle was Donna, smiling and laughing at something someone said. She was shaking her head and pointing to the staircase. The pair watched her maneuver her way through the crowd. Harvey realized she moved like she knew she was being watched.

In fact, her moves had been calculated like that all night. Predatory almost as she moved around the room. Slinking in and out of large groups of people with a small smile and bright eyes. Harvey was watching her interact with a group of men, all with deep pockets and large bank accounts. It was a comment made by another man that snapped Harvey out of his haze.

“Sorry?” Harvey questioned.

“That’s your assistant, right?” The man in a very rich tux asked. “The redhead. When I’ve stopped by she’s always outside your office.”

“No,” Harvey denied. “She doesn’t work for me anymore.”

It was then that she moved up the staircase, as the sound around him went and became muffled. His vision blurred for half a second and before he knew it, she was at the top of the staircase. He finished his drink in a single shot.

It was deposited on a passing by tray.

Harvey moved through the crowd, making quick greetings as he tried to follow her. Louis stopped him at the foot of the stairs. Harvey watched as Donna faltered at the top, her head turning ever so slightly to the right. A movement no one else would notice but him.

So, as Louis started to ramble on about the doubled offer of total raise, Harvey waved him off.

“Not now, Louis.”

“Have you seen Donna,” Louis asked. “I was going to tell her.”

“I haven’t,” Harvey lied.

“I can check her room,” Louis said.

“I can.”

“Really?”

“Sure, Louis,” Harvey agreed.

“Thanks,” he said, with a smile. “She’s in room 619.”

“Yeah,” Harvey nodded.

It seemed to suffice, since Louis drifted off into the crowd. Harvey waited a beat until he took the staircase and then found his way into the hallway and refused to wait for the elevator. Time was of the essence and the window was closing.

Donna slipped her feet out of her heels. She eyed her purse and her small travel bag she brought with her. The carpet of her room was heaven on her feet. She pulled the pins out of her hair and let it curl at her shoulders.

She had an ache in the space between her shoulders. Pulling open the drapes she let the city lights brighten her room. Donna rolled her head and let her chin drop to her chest. She thought back to the crowd downstairs. She had run into a donor who told her she was going to double everything raised.

What she wanted to do was tell Louis, but she just wanted quiet. The sound of the crowd was giving her a headache. Knowing Harvey had been watching her all night was driving her crazy. It didn’t help the dull ache in her head. So, when the knock sounded on the door and she blinked her eyes tiredly open, seeing Harvey on the other side of the door was not what she expected.

Harvey had that same bullshitting grin on his face that he had when he showed up to her door after he quit the DA’s office. He had that same look when they flirted. Etched in and around his eyes though was determination. It was on a gasp that she succumbed to him as she finished taking a few steps back.

It was after his hands found purchase on her hips. His fingers digging into the soft satin. The gasp came after he closed the door behind him with a slam and his body attached itself to hers. It came when air became necessary and he made work kissing her.

The realization that Harvey Specter owned every part of her, came easily the next morning as her laughter filled the room. It was his snug arm around her waist and his lips at her shoulder. It was another hour in bed and again later when she showed up at his apartment. Yes, she was willing to give in, because he was her weakness.

They went back to work; she came back to work for him and they did what they did well. Not mention it. It wasn’t until years later, when they lived in Seattle, when they were married she admitted she liked hearing him beg.

“Why?” He laughed.

Harvey was stretched out on their couch. They were waiting for Mike and Rachel.

“It’s about time you did,” she shrugged.

She loved the man. Had for a long time. It was nice for once to be the one calling the shots.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Let know what you think!


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